One of my biggest struggles recently is the need to be
perfect. I know in my heart that
achieving perfection is impossible, and I never viewed myself as one who
strives to be perfect. However I
realized recently that I do. I have to
get everything done. I have to fit everything in. I cannot let anyone down. I
have to make all A’s this semester. I have to work out every day. I have to
spend time with the Lord in the morning. I have to make time for people in my
life too. I have set so many standards
for myself as the semester begins. The
problem isn’t the standards I am setting.
They are all good goals. The problem
is that if I don’t meet my standards, I am going to view myself as a
failure. As not good enough. Not worthy enough. Not smart enough. Not able enough.
Me not meeting my standards, would cause me to redefine
myself completely.
As I watch everyone around me, I realize that everyone else
seems to be caught up in this mess too.
Everyone seems to be rushing somewhere constantly or rushing to get
something done, to achieve something. Again, there is nothing wrong with
getting things done or meeting our goals.
But I feel like sometimes we forget why we are even doing these things
in the first place. I find myself going through the motions because, well,
that’s what we are “supposed to do.”
So I few days ago, I decided to see if changing my
perspective would change my outlook, and also my stress and frustration with
the going through the motions process.
I went from I have to make all A’s this semester to I have
an opportunity to have an education, an opportunity that many people don’t
have, I am going to try my hardest and get the most out of this blessing. I am not doing this for the GPA, I am doing
this because God has placed a passion in my heart for what I am studying, and
it is a step in his plan for my life.
I went from stressing out about making time for people in my
life to realizing that people are what I am actually called to. When I get to
heaven, my GPA is not going to matter. But the people I created relationships
with, the people Christ used me to reach.
That will always matter. How is he going to use me to reach his people
if I don’t make time for them. And, life
only happens once, I only have three semesters of college left! I don’t want to
miss it because my face is constantly buried in books.
I went from I have to work out every day to thank the Lord
that my body functions correctly so I should take care of it in the best way
that I can.
I went from I have to spend time with the Lord in the
morning to I GET to spend time with the Lord in the mornings.
Don’t get me wrong, forcing myself to think this way was and
still is a struggle. I still have to
work at it. But just in the past three
days, my passion has returned. I am energy and excitement for the semester. I
actually want to study because I want to be fully equipped for the next stage
of my life that God has planned for me. Because let’s face it, I am an
imperfect sinner in the hands of perfect God. I am weak, and I cannot do
anything without Him.
“May he equip you with everything good for doing his will,
and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be
glory for ever and ever.” Hebrews 13:21
This right here. My time in college. I fully believe this to
be God preparing and molding me for the plans he has for the future! And the
cool thing is, he is also using me while equipping me!
I am going to attempt to live every day to be like
Jesus. I am going to get done what I
need to get done, but I am not going to ignore the world around me. My motivation is going to come from love and
from passion, not from the need to check things off of a list. I am going to strive to be like Jesus, while
remaining in full recognition that I am in fact, not Jesus. I am not perfect.
No comments:
Post a Comment